As you may have noticed in the fiddlehead photo below, I’m beginning to lose my hair. I’m going to refrain from using the verb “bald” because that would imply that the hair is not coming back. And sweet nectar of Northern newt, that would totally suck.

It’s quite normal for a human baby to shed its fur in the first few months of life. The hair will come back with purpose and vengeance. When an adult sheds, it’s another story. A more tragic tale.

My father is bald. I am losing my hair.

Dad would be lucky to work up enough mane for a bad comb-over. I, on the other hand, have many years of mullet growing ahead of me. Which will look absolutely debonair with the prepubescent mustache I plan to grow. I look forward to this.

Take a number, ladies. Take a number.