My young physique could be accurately recreated with a variety pack of sausages.

Take my arm, for instance. Either one. It’s basically a bratwurst connected to a link of Spanish chorizo. My hand is a Jimmy Dean breakfast patty with Vienna Sausages serving as my extremities.

My torso is a boule of haggis complete with knotted navel to seal the pluck and suet within.

My legs are kielbasas.

And my head is a giant biscuit.

I sound delicious.