Here’s what I know about them:

#1 is a liquid.
#2 is a solid. But sometimes an explosive liquid.

Based on these facts, I’ve hypothesized a mathematical theory which states that the higher the number, the more severe the ramification. Which makes me look forward with trepidation to the day when Mom congratulates me on filling a diaper with #3.

Why am I talking all mathy? Because this morning, the thermometer outside read -20. That’s 20 with a minus in front of it.

I have no idea what this means, but it totally freaks me out.

That “F” on the bottom stands for a word that Dad is not allowed to use in front of me.