A malevolent virus of some sort has come into my life and robbed my young immune system of its innocence. No flowers. No flirty looks from across the room. No courtship whatsoever. Just bang! Watery eyes and a never-ending supply of nostril slime.

I’m also having a hard time keeping formula down. I’ll be hittin’ the bottle and all of the sudden be like “Hey Dad, I love you man. Hold my hair back while I boot.”

Does this first have anything to do with my last first mentioned below?

I don’t know and I suppose it doesn’t matter. I still feel like my favorite subject. And if you don’t know what that is, you’re just not paying attention.