My cold is gone and so is Mother. For a few days at least. She has taken her first business-related assignment out-of-state since my birth. What does this mean? It means Father and I are gonna bro down hardcore.

Here are a few things I look forward to:

– Freedom from the constraints of pants
– Three days without the E! channel
– Root beer
– Screaming at Alex Trebec
– Stinking
– Driving lessons
– Heavy metal karaoke
– Morning Joe on MSNBC
– A burp-off followed by a fart contest(s)
– Sleep deprivation
– Taco Tuesday!
– Googling “dune buggy”
– Learning how to say “duuuude”
– Snowball fights
– Peanut butter on my knuckle sandwich (see below)
– My first basement visit
– Hockey
– Tattoos (temporary, unfortunately)
– A mohawk
– A pacifier carved from aged cheddar
– Crank calls to local businesses
– Crank calls to my Congressman
– Crank calls to Mom
– Naked Scyping
– Building a snow woman
– Putting one of Mom’s bras on the snow woman
– Seeing how long it takes an egg to explode in the microwave
– And some other stuff that could get us in trouble with John Q. Law

When you add all of of this up, I suppose Mom cannot return soon enough.