My parents set me up on a blind date. I think her name was “Sitter.” Odd. She was a nice girl, but maybe a little old for my tastes. I’m guessing she was about 15. We played for a few hours. I made small coo, she giggled. I showed her my toy truck, she was impressed. We watched The Amazing World of Gumball. I pooped. She re-diapered me. Honestly, I usually don’t like to give that much away on a first date, but I had lentils for lunch. It was happening whether I wanted it to or not.

For the record, I was in bed by 7:00pm and woke up alone.

She has my digits. Ball is in her court.