Yesterday, I decided to see how long and hard I could scream. Much to my surprise, I was able to carry on for several hours. Well into the night.

At one point, Dad started throwing holy water on me.

Later on, Mom told me it was just Diet Sprite.

Note to Grandfather A: I think Dad is going to ask that you include a gallon or two of the real stuff when you make the next shipment of Duke’s mayonnaise to Vermont.