“Muscles and cold cuts make me strong.”

“You have a stomach egg.”

Dad: “Liam, would you say you are a funny boy?”
Me: “Ok. I’m a funny boy.”

“My favorite apple pie us blueberry pie”

“Remember last week when I was just a baby?”

“I really want that oven for you daddy so you can cook me chickens.”

“I need a box and a racquet so I can play basketball.”

To Dad: “I like your clothes. They’re really clean.”

“My brains are in my hair.”

“If you can’t get through a door, use the doggie door.”

“Nobody better get in my garden cuz I need to lawnmower it.”

“I’m not a human. I’m a boy.”

“Why do UFO’s only fly in triangles? Hmmm… that’s thinky.”

Me: “Knock knock.”
Dad: “Who’s there?”
Me: “Banana.”
Dad: “Banana who?”
Me: “Chicken nugget.”

“Snowlar power is when you get power from snow.”

“This train is gonna stop at the M&M station and fill up with M&Ms.”

“If a police offifer gives you a ticket, he will put you in time out.”

Dad asked: “Liam, will you be my best friend?”
I answered: “Lemme think about it.”

“I don’t like you. Actually, I do.”

“I like pickles with hamburgers on it.”

“When Santa Claus gets here, he’s gonna put candy in my socks.”

To Dad: “Stop that. I’m still your best friend, but stop that.”

“Daddy, don’t joke about mac ‘n’ cheese.”

“I was dreaming about cupcakes. With jelly.”

“I don’t like princesses. I wanna be the bad guy.”

“I like motorcycles cuz I’m a fast boy.”

“I want peanut butter. And jelly. With some swammich on it.”

Mommy said: “Liam, look at the the ducks flying.”
I said: “Pft. Ducks live on ponds. Not in the clouds. Silly Mommy.”

To the delivery man: “I really like your pizza car.”

Dad said: “I like your pliers.”
I said: “They’re not pliers. They’re crackers. See?” (as pliers are used to crack a toy.)

“Donuts are my best friend.”

“Slow down, Dad. Go the speed lemon.”

“It’s winter, so the bears are still hydrating?”

Dad said: “Liam, what’s your favorite sport?”
I said: “Chocolate.”

To Dad: “I want to use your toilet paper cuz I growing up.”

Dad said: “Hold onto the railing. I don’t want you to fall down the stairs.”
I said: “Because I’ll get brain freeze?”

As I struggled with constipation, Dad said: “Sometimes the poop doesn’t come out so easy. It takes…”
I said: “Practice?”

While admiring my poop, I said: “Wow, that’s a really big poop. So now my brains are gone?”

Dad said: “The river is moving fast.”
I said: “Why?”
Dad said: “Well, gravity.”
I said: “So that keeps it from flying away?”

“My heiny is super rough so I need some lotion on it.”

“I’m good at making the shy go away.”

“I need lip stuff cuz my lips are chopped up.”

“Charlie? That’s kind of a strange name.”

Dad said: “What do you want for supper?
I said: “Mac n cheez.”
Dad sarcastically said : “Since when do you like mac n cheez?
I said: “Since Friday.”

“Only big people like beans.”

While admiring my poop, I said: “Where did those hot dogs come from?”

I was in my room and Dad said: “Liam, it’s bedtime. What are you doing up there?”
I said: “I’m practicing my HI-YA in case a bad guy comes.”

“My Band-Aid didn’t come off because it has power.”

Dad said: “What do you want to be for Halloween?
I said: “A bad guy.”
Dad said: “But you’re good.”
I said: “Yeah. I’m a good bad guy.”

Dad said: “How many timeouts did you have at school today?”
I said: “No timeouts. Just breaks.”
Dad said: “So how many breaks did you have?”
I said: “No breaks.”

This page will be updated as I continue to point out the obvious. Check back soon…